"I'm not good enough!"
... I hear my client say and I think to myself that this belief is probably one of the top 3 most frequently mentioned beliefs that come up in people.
Where do they come from, these beliefs, and how do they hold us back?
Beliefs such as "I'm not worth anything", "I can' t do it ", "I'm weak", "I'm dependent" , etc. are understood in psychology as deeply rooted convictions. They are the attitudes towards ourselves and towards our interpersonal relationships.
These originate from the early childhood interaction between the child and the caregivers and thus influence our development at an early age and grow with us into adulthood.
Beliefs are our particular assumptions about the world.
People tend to believe beliefs unconsciously rather than consciously, but are inwardly convinced of them and believe these assumptions. They are, for example, assumptions about our self-esteem, our relationships and our professional success.
Most of the time we are not aware of the influence that beliefs have on our lives. It is not obvious when these beliefs switch on and subconsciously influence relationships, developments, but also actions and thinking.
Most of the time we are confronted with this when we do not feel so good or when we reach our limits in our interactions, when we encounter resistance or are confronted with resistant situations, people and actions, or when we wish for change but cannot implement it because something is holding us back.
Especially in a professional context, these beliefs can hinder reorientation and development. Because often these beliefs come with fears that additionally assure us that it is better to stay where we currently are. Because it is supposedly safer there and nothing can happen.
But what about your desires and needs, being stuck with your need, and getting unstuck?
So what can I do to find out if my resistances are old beliefs? my resistances are old beliefs?
- Find out what is currently bothering you in concrete terms?
- Compare your thoughts with reality. Is what you think really what you and others would say about you?
- What is currently weighing you down and making you stagnate?
- What do you wish for instead?
- Are you looking for someone who mirrors you and accompanies and looks at you in a non-judgemental way in order to get to the bottom of it all and to find and identify your hidden beliefs with you?
- Be aware that some of the stories you tell about yourself are only in your head and do not correspond to reality. Ask yourself what people would say about you and how they would tell your stories.
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