The "self-doubter" in us

How self-doubt and old negative beliefs lead us around by the nose again and again


Self-doubter Consulting on Wheels

The struggle with self-doubt / Photo by Mariana Montrazi/

Everyone knows them, those moments when you doubt yourself and believe that you can't do this or that. That others have much more to offer and can do more.

Self-doubt blocks our view of our strengths, resources and opportunities for development 

This feeling is a widespread phenomenon, which social media channels like to fuel further. This leads to many people being more on the outside than with themselves, and feeling even more incompetent and unhappy because we lose sight of ourselves.

But even without media, we are the masters of looking far too much at others than at ourselves. We don't see what WE have already achieved, can do and, above all, what we are.

We are pros at sabotaging ourselves, which falls on fertile ground in a critical world we live in.

Therefore, we often lose the feeling for ourselves and believe that we have to do certain things in order to become content and happy. Often we then find out that this does not make us happier either and continue to search for new moments of happiness.

Whereas happiness is a big word and we could discuss what that actually means for each individual. I am sure that there are clear differences.

Challenges and crises

The fact is, life has both beautiful and unpleasant moments in store for us and we are asked to face them accordingly. In addition, we often have the gift of complicating our lives through an unrealistic striving for perfection.

But whatever additional burden we place on ourselves, one thing is clear: all this is you and it is up to you to accept and embrace it and make friends with it. Resistance is futile, on the contrary, it only strengthens the feeling of "feeling incapable".

Accepting yourself will help you to take on new perspectives and change your thoughts and behaviour so that you can live well with them.

But how can I accept myself as I am?

First of all, it should be said that it is a longer process to enter into.

  • The most important thing is the willingness to set out on the path. This means becoming aware that one is setting out on the path to an encounter with oneself. For this, it is important to be appropriately open and to allow yourself the time to do so. Because the encounter with yourself involves tracking down your feelings, sensations and thoughts, getting to know them and dealing with them.
  • It is also important to identify old negative beliefs, understand where they come from and learn to deal with them differently.
  • In the next step, the positive beliefs that are also dormant in you should be identified or new beliefs should be integrated.
  • Take the wheel again, feel your feelings and needs. Focus your life more on what you need and want, away from the outside. It sounds simple, but if you've ever tried it, you've probably realised that the outside world has certain expectations of you and always has an opinion about how you should be or how things should be done. And if it's not the outside world, it's your own critic whispering in your ear about what you can't do, who you aren't and what you shouldn't do. But know that there is already a lot there.
  • It is always helpful to be accompanied on this path. This is the only way to get a new perspective on things and to find creative ideas and solutions.



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